You Look Tired

Have you ever had someone say to you “you look tired”?

I mean it’s possibly a regular thing or something that happens every so often, but have you ever noticed if someone says it in that moment when you have chosen not to put makeup on your face?

I know I have.

At the time it made me want to go and hide and think, oh I must not look pretty enough or my skin isn’t glowing or full or radiant, perhaps I should put something on to make up my appearance.

But this is exactly my point.

For years we have manufactured makeup that actually masks. You are choosing to hide, conceal and cover up any flaws, blemishes and marks. We have become so familiar with hiding. I believe that it is through these little nuances there is a lot of knowledge that your body is actually communicating with you.

Do you see men covering things up? I mean I am aware that some choose to, but in reality this filtering process manages to fundamentally skew your perception of yourself and the perception others have of you too.

If you look tired, then you’re tired.

I am learning to love myself in every moment, which takes time, to heal from wounds that have wrapped my body; bound me to beliefs of beauty that we can unravel.

If you sit in front of the mirror in your natural state and meditate, declaring your strengths and beauty from other angles then I believe healing can begin. Choosing to accept the image you see in front of you for a few minutes each day, your confidence in your natural beauty will begin to bloom.

I’ve not been one to spend hours in front of the mirror with makeup, it was just never really my thing, but I know for some the ritual of applying substances to your face to “make up” your appearance can take a fair few minutes, maybe even hours. If instead you chose to spend that time untangling from the shadows that have been cast over society as to what beauty is then you will see that our natural state is far more sustainable.

When I started this process it was actually by fluke (or was it universe?)

I realised as I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror that I had forgotten to apply mascara to my lashes that morning as I got ready to go to my shift.

I was astonished.

No-one has said anything to me. And when I mentioned it to a colleague they said “oh yeah”. From that moment on I started to wonder whether I actually needed to use this wand each day to magically transform my face, or indeed could I start to let go of things that ladened me from my natural state?

I chose to discard my mascara.

The roll that I had routinely applied was banished to the bin.

It took some belief in myself and the natural lashes that I had been gifted to get some getting used to, but I then started to meet people and they didn’t know me in any other form. I grew bonds with these beings and they saw me exactly as I am. They laughed with me, spent time with me, hugged me, listened to me, taught me, helped me, smiled at me, saw me for me.

Don't get me wrong. I do still choose to brush in my brows, the 00s fashion brought a belief that the thinner the better. I am still learning to love them for what they are and the story that they tell. Until then I try to respectfully recreate their natural shape in the hope that they frame my face in the way it was always supposed to. Silly fashion.

I haven't really shared this story with anyone, perhaps one or two close people. I hope that it finds you and that you find some faith in the fact that you too can shine beautiful, in the natural way that you are. Take your time, reach out and know that I am here to hold space for you.

Sending kindness,

Elinor