Updated: Mar 7, 2022
With my sun in the fixed sign of Taurus and my rising in Virgo there's no wonder why change was something that many would see as something I wouldn't be able to handle.
But it was in one of the biggest realisations of my life that I actually looked at myself in the mirror and saw that that's exactly what I'd been doing; living a life that was living up to other's expectations of me. A fixed expectation that I had put upon myself.
Image : Features cork yoga mat by YogaHaus
Drawing on my astrological learnings, I realised that in fact it really is all written in the stars.
My north node (my destination as I like to call it) is in Pisces. Now for me I didn't understand much of this energy - it was far from the earthy grounded notes I knew, but here I am now floating in the freedom of this watery sign; allowing all the wonderful magical mystery of life fill up my essence. I don't really know what drew me to scribble out this post at 11pm as I lay with my head on my pillow, but the download came in; so here it is. Oh, hang on I do know why really - it's the gorgeous Pisces new moon energy over me that is here to help me to embrace this change and shine a light on it.
I have realised in the darkness that I am here to show the world that things need to change. We need to start by allowing change to happen within ourselves to grow and develop. If nothing changes then things become stagnant. I hope to help you believe in yourself that you can embrace these changes too in your own life.
I once received the words "You've changed. You're not the Elinor I used to know" - they were indeed right, I wasn't and I'm definitely not the same as I was when those words were spoken to me.
We can often see it as a negative, and in some instances it can be. I'm not the first to say this, so I wouldn't wish to neglect the original owner of the idea, but when someone says "you've changed" then it can be something positive. For many when something changes it may not be the desired outcome that they hoped, so those words they use are purely a projection of their own thoughts and feelings - not yours.
You do not need to share in this same disappointment, the thing is you get to choose.
At the time I instantly thought it was a "bad" thing (I do not like labelling things as good or bad, hence the Ross Gellar quotations) but now I see it as such a compliment.
I am still the same plant. I've changed my pot. I've changed my soil. I've watered and nourished my soul. I've worked through some really deep emotional stuff to get to where I am today.
"I've changed; and I'm happy that I have."
What if the world I was surrounded by changed me?
What if I had allowed other people to influence how I showed up in the world?
What if I was unable to be my most authentic self?
Tapping into a more natural way of being in my own essence has really helped me to develop this strong sense of understanding me. It helped me realise why I made certain choices and why I lived the way I did and why I choose to live the way I do now. If this is something that you feel called to do, then make that change.